Posted by Rick on April 30th, 2002

Now this is what I call a GOOD proposal…except for the whole “I can’t put things in logical order” thing.

To: Sesame Street Travel Club
From: Cookie Monster
Subject: Trip to Cookie Factory
Date: April 29, 2002

Me go on trip to Cookie Factory in Arcadia, Louisiana. Me see how cookies made. Me get samples. Cookies made with butter, sugar, flour, and different ingredients. Me sample peanut butter cookies. Me sample cjocolate chip cookies. Me sample sugar cookies. Each kind of cookie has different ingredients. Sugar has extra sugar on top. Peanut butter has peanut butter in it. Chocolate chip has vanilla flavoring and chocolate chips. Me like cookies. Me learn to make cookies. Me get recipes. We could all make cookies together on Sesame Street. Me recommend Big Bird and Harry Monster bring cookies to next meeting. Bring peanut butter and Cookie Monster will tell you if they are s good as the ones in Arcadia, Louisiana. Me love cookies YUMM

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Posted by Rick on April 30th, 2002

A memo I recently came across…

Castle Candles
To: X
From: Y
Subject: Dumb customer
Date: April 25, 2002

It has come to my attention, that some stupid customer, simpley cannot make candles from our kit, and this, same, stupid, customer, has been buggin the pee out customer service, telling us there’s something wrong with our product, so, please, send a letter, to this moron, with the, following explicit, directions: first, pour Wax Crystals into a heat resistant container, use one color, or, layer several, to creat designs, then, insert Castel Candle Wick, in the center—for wide canldes, use miltiple wicks, then trime to 1/2” above crystal surface, and light. For sinted, Castle Candles, add 1/4 oz. Castle Candles sint to 120z of Wax Crystals, in a zip-lock bag, seal, and, shake, until even consistency returns, use more, if desired, this probably won’t help, because, once a retard, always a retard, probably some ethnic Albanian refugee just arrived, and can’t, even, read English, like normal people, so, if the customer calls back, transfer the call to my.

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