I miss general friendliness…Posted by Rick on March 29th, 2003
I can’t imagine what culture is like in Japan. From Emeth’s description, I would go insane.
Before I read Emeth’s post, I was lamenting how unfriendly the culture I live in is. Then, I read her post, and she makes it sound like Moscow was the most friendly place she’s ever been. Here’s a breakdown of where I’ve lived, most recent first:
Spokane, WA: I’m just now getting to where I am starting to feel comfortable around some people. I’m still annoyed about how people act when you see them in public. It’s kinda like “Oh, hi.” Christin Booth brings out something in Southern culture with number nine on her top ten best things about living in Monroe list: “The way women squeal when they see each other in the store.” I dislike the total non-reaction of people here. It’s like, “You’re not important; you’re like the mailman” type of attitude up here. Then again, I’ve personally known my mailman in the other places I lived. In Monroe, we played hacky-sack on his lunchbreak. In Oklahoma, we left Christmas gifts in the mailbox.
Niceville, FL: Niceville was most like the place I grew up. I would go to the grocery store and know people. It had the added benefit of always being sunny. It was just a happy place. The beach was twenty minutes away. I could wear flip flops and cargo shorts every day. My house was on the bay. My front yard was sand.
Monroe, LA: Monroe was hot, and it wasn’t very pretty. However, certain people there made it a wonderful place to live.
Jackson, MS: I spent my time in Jackson at Belhaven College. It was a contrived atmosphere. I hated it at the time, but I look back on it with fondness. I really do miss those Belhaven days, hanging out on campus.
Owasso/Broken Arrow, OK: Home. Oklahoma will probably always be home. Childhood memories are there: Worms on the fourth of July, Freeze tag, toilet papering, wiffle ball, block parties, football, high school.
Bayside, Queens, NYC, NY: Culture. I miss the fact that Italians are a distinct culture, as are the Chinese, Greeks, etc. I miss block parties, the Capezzas (Italians) hanging out with the Gabriels (Greeks). I miss kissing members of my family on the cheek…and people I barely knew. How come it’s weird to kiss the octogenarian at the convenience store around here? Relationships are so different here. In New York, when you had a party, you’d get and give a hundred different cheek kisses. But here, that’s not allowed. I don’t get it…I really don’t. And if it was allowed, it’d probably be really weird. I miss being places where that isn’t weird. I can’t wait to take Rachel back to Oklahoma and New York to meet my family.
March 29th, 2003 at 4:01 pm
hrrrm, interesting … I always thought that the cashier was an automaton. I like the anonymity of big city. It feels safer with 100,000 ppl walking all around u and also more private … b/c nobody really cares wot u look like or wat u do. I’d feel terribly uncomfortable if I knew every1 that waz walking by me.
March 29th, 2003 at 5:41 pm
Great post – I can completely relate (except for the NYC part, having never experienced that; to overstate things just slightly, Monroe has only two ethnic groups and Moscow only one).
March 29th, 2003 at 9:44 pm
Friendliness is different in various cultures. Just because people don’t scream and squeal and kiss each other doesn’t necessarily mean they are less friendly. Personally, I don’t think I could handle so much kissing. Whew.
March 29th, 2003 at 9:45 pm
Ack. I tried to make a URL but it didn’t work. Have you disabled HTML in your comments? Anyway, here’s the URL.
http://www.eh43.com/blog/2002_08_01_archive.html#85355660
March 29th, 2003 at 10:23 pm
Emeth, you have to admit though…the longer you are here, the easier it gets. Even in Moscow, you started loosening up more as the conference went on.
March 30th, 2003 at 5:50 pm
Yeah, I guess….
March 31st, 2003 at 10:05 am
It’s so cool you grew up in Queens. There’s the rest of the world, and then there’s Manhattan and the surrounding burroughs. I get the sense from what I know of it that the kind of neighborhoods that form there end up being profoundly valuable for the people there. I bet you love going back.
March 31st, 2003 at 12:27 pm
I think the fact that a full-frontal hug is scandalous in Moscow says a lot about the culture. They’re all about the side-hug.
In Monroe, I get at least 10 hugs every Sunday. I love that about the south.
I do have to admit I felt slightly uncomfortable when I was in Brooklyn and got kissed by all these people I was just meeting. I think I would like it if I got used to it though.
April 1st, 2003 at 1:36 am
Hug, hug, full frontal, side hug, kissing, scandal.
tries to understand … gives up
April 1st, 2003 at 8:15 am
I am a Northwest transplant from the NYC area. While there is a certain kind of closeness that is possible in the urban east (esp. if you are from the neighborhood), the culture there is unbelievably aggressive. The way people drive, the way they shop (= mortal combat), the way they order food at a hotdog stand is not for the fainthearted. When we lived in Brooklyn, my wife was rammed more than once by someone behind her because she wasn’t moving fast enough down the aisle. Out here (in the Willamette Valley), store owners will actually tell you about another store where you can find what you are looking for. I rarely (never?) experienced that in metropolitan area. Our here, people are generally friendly and helpful, but they otherwise are independent and keep to themselves. This makes building up community within the church a challenge. A legacy of the frontier mentality no doubt.
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