I’m a slob. My house is embarrasingly messy. There are very few people — my closest friends who know far worse things about me than my lack of housekeeping skills — that I’ll allow in without a few hours of really concentrated tidying and scrubbing. And this is exactly why I hate this about myself — it keeps me from showing hospitality the way I know I ought to and the way I want to.

Jon, well, in the place I grew up, and where I went to college, everybody just stopped by and came over. But I am just talking about stopping by to drop something off or pick something up. That shouldn’t be weird. It may be weird for some people, but there isn’t any reason that a person shouldn’t feel like he could stop by “for a few minutes.”

And there are ways to make a person feel hospitable without having to necessarily invite them in.

*knock knock*
Hey, how are you?
Well, and you?
I’m just fine.
*start walking for the garden or something*
Wait just a second.
*run in the house and get two glasses of water*
Here ya go.
Mill around outside for a few minutes.

Part of the problem is when you stand in your doorway, you set yourself up for looking like a guard. “This my house. You no pass.”

So, there I was, standing at my door, holding the screen open (even though it isn’t reallya screen… it’s glass… like a storm door), and feeling weird doing it.

So I just went outside. We hung out on the porch for a few minutes while I answered their questions.

Standing at the door having a conversation just ain’t right.

Anyway, I think if you drive by and they’re out in the yard playing or something, stop by and say hi. But if you have to knock, then it is probably best to call – even if you just call on your cell phone from the road. Perhaps I’m not the best judge of all this. I feel comfortable “popping over” to borrow something from a neighbor in the apartment complex, but going across town to do that seems a little weird unannounced. In other words, if your visit is unusual enough to warrant chatting, then it should probably be coordinated in advance. That’s just my sense of the current state of etiquette, I could be way off.