Medicine of Immortality » Humor

Mini-Capezzaisms

Rachel — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:46:37 +0000

Earlier today, while we were headed to the store, Rick and I were talking about how fun it would be to go to Hawaii (yeah, we often talk of exotic vacation spots, we can’t help it) and Kyrie said, “Hawaii?? That’s the place where they dance.” “Oh, really? What kind of dancing?” we asked her, and she said, “The kind where you wiggle. You wiggle your body. I’ll show you when we get to the store.” Once we got there, she started rocking her hips back and forth in the parking lot and said, “See? That’s the kind of dancing they do in Hawaii.”

Tonight, during Compline, Antonio looked at the eighth notes on the page and kept saying they looked like cars (the ones that were grouped together — I can kinda see it). I explained that it was music, so after Compline ended, he flipped through the LBW to various hymns, singing “Lord, Lord, Loooord!”

And I’m blanking on several other cute things that were said by the kiddos this evening. Maybe it’ll come to me later.

Conversations with Kyrie about God, our priest, and Santa Claus

Rick — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 19:15:31 +0000

We were in the car yesterday, and I was talking about some sort of inanimate object (I can’t remember what) in the car last night, and Kyrie asked me where it was. This is the conversation that ensued.

Me: It died. It died and went to be with Jesus.
Kyrie: *laughs* Where is Jesus?
Me: Jesus is in heaven, with the Father.
Kyrie: Where is heaven?
Me: It’s all around us. It’s here, but it’s also in another dimension.
Kyrie: Does God talk to you?
Me: Well, He talks to us in His word and through His Spirit. We can talk to him when we pray.
Kyrie: We can talk to Jesus when we pray. And we can pray to the God the Father. And we can pray to Fr. Jerry.
Me: No, we can’t pray to Fr. Jerry. We can talk to Fr. Jerry at church and when we see him. We can only pray to God. Fr. Jerry is just a nice man who teaches us about Jesus.
Kyrie: When does he teach us about Jesus.
Me: When we go to church, and he talks to us. He talks about Jesus.
Kyrie: Santa Claus doesn’t talk about Jesus. He’s just a nice guy who gives us presents.

All I write about is Kyrie…

Rachel — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 20:49:29 +0000

It seems like she’s had a lot of great one-liners lately. I just had to share these before I forgot.

“I can’t get my freaking panties on!” (Okay, not terribly proud of that one.)
“I don’t want Anton-ton to grow up too fast.”
“I can’t even draw a skirt! I’m frustrated!”
(After I drew a picture of our family, at her request): “You forgot to draw Papa’s nipples.”

More from Kyrie…

Rick — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 04:36:03 +0000

Randomly: “There are Pretenders among us…”

Singing: “When the sun came up, there was whiskey in the cup…”

Her translation of Ps. 119:103: “Your words are sweet tonight….”

Silly kid!

Rachel — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:51:49 +0000

Kyrie makes me laugh every day. Yesterday we were looking through some old pictures of her from when she was a baby. Suddenly she burst out, “Mommy! I really want to be a baby again.” Just today, as we were eating lunch (some leftover black bean tacos), she said, “I think beans are yummy, but I don’t like the taste of them.”

What a silly goof.

Kyrieisms

Rick — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 21:10:57 +0000

Kyrie says hilarious things all the time. Most of the time we just lament that we don’t remember to write them down. Here’s a few I did remember though:

Said randomly to me: “I want to put a bad guy in the trunk.”

I promise she hasn’t seen this on TV!

Said randomly to Rachel, pointing to our basement stairs: “Bad guys fall down there.”

After our elderly Greek landlord left our house…she had previously smothered Kyrie in hugs and kisses while repeating her first and middle name: “That grandma lady gave me lots of hugs and kisses.”

Who is the King?

Rick — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 06:41:11 +0000

Rachel was going around the house singing the Sons of Korah version of Psalm 24. At the end of the song, the question, “Who is the King?” is repeated over and over.

Kyrie’s eyes lit up as she answered the question: “Mufasa is!”

Hey, what’s so funny?

Rick — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:52:46 +0000

The other night, Kyrie was very cranky and crying during Compline, and towards the middle of Compline, she fell asleep. Then, I said this prayer:

“Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who
sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen.”

My sleeping daughter let out a laugh when I said, “weep this night.”

Hilarious Obituary

Rick — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:54:41 +0000

DOUGLAS — A celebration of life for James William “Jim” Adams, 53, will be held at a later date…Jim, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other’s courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle. It was primarily as a result of being stubborn and not following doctor’s orders or maybe for just living life a little too hard for better than five decades….He was sadly deprived of his final wish, which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a date. True to his personal style, he spent his final hours joking with medical personnel, cussing and begging for narcotics and bargaining with God to look over his loving dog, Biscuit, and his family…He would like to thank all “his ladies” for putting up with him the last 30 years…During his life, he excelled at anything he put his mind to. He loved to hear and tell jokes and spin tales of grand adventures he may or may not have had…In lieu of flowers, he asks that you make a sizeable purchase at your favorite watering hole, get rip roaring drunk and tell the stories he no longer can.

Kyrie, Death, and White Hair

Rick — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 22:28:47 +0000

Ever since Kyrie was an infant, on the way to receive the eucharist, I’ve whispered into her ear, “The bread is Jesus’ body, and the wine is Jesus’ blood. Whoever eats Jesus’ body and drinks his blood, lives forever.” In the past year, we’ve also talked a lot about how Jesus died for her sins so that when she dies, she’ll get to come back to life in Jesus. She’s understood the concept of death for probably a year now, and she often randomly talks about how she doesn’t want to die. Being who I am, I always say something like, “I’m sorry. You’re going to have to die one day, but since Jesus died for you, it’ll only be for a little bit because, after that, you’ll live with Jesus forever.” (Rachel smartly just says, “I don’t want you to die either.”)

Anyway, we were looking at the stations of the cross today, and I was talking to her about the station where Jesus died on the cross, and how in the next station, his mommy was sad because he died, and how in the next station, we see that he comes back to life.

After explaining all this, she said, “But I don’t want to die.”
I replied, “Well, hopefully, it won’t be for a very long time.”
She replied to me, “But I don’t want to die.”
Finally, I said, “Well, you probably won’t die until after you get old and your hair turns white.”

She seemed to think this was both preposterous and hilarious and that I wasn’t being serious anymore, and our conversation ended promptly.