In September, I went through some trials that left me feeling very down and very self-absorbed with my problems. As the months have passed, I’ve found that in moments, I am able to rise above the pain, and in others, I’ve succumbed to my own weakness. God continues to be gracious and I continue to wrestle with my own sin and pray for the healing of relationships.

My family has been, as always, amazing. Rick is a constant source of comfort and encouragement, and Kyrie and Antonio fill my life with joy and moments of being as carefree as I remember being as a child. Sometimes there is no better description for my children than little angels. And goodness knows they’re not really angels — their behaviour can be exhausting and infuriating — but the love and the innocence that they display from their sweet spirits really help to lift mine. It’s such a joy to be a mom, even though I have those moments when I wonder if I really am called to be a mom. Sometimes I’m just really truly not good at it. At all.

God has been kind enough to open my eyes to friendships that have always been there, waiting for me — and introduce new friends into my life. He has never abandoned me, even when I think that He has.

It’s been difficult for me to enter into the season of Lent this year. Antonio was sick on Ash Wednesday, so I wasn’t able to attend a service. Being able to hear the words “Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return,” while the cross is drawn in ashes on my forehead by the thumb of the priest is something that is so profound to me that I can hardly articulate my feelings about it. It helps to set the tone for the entire season. I have not chosen to give up anything specifically, nor have I conscientiously added any particular disciplines. However, I do find myself returning to the Lord, and drawing closer to Him, and seeing the sickness of my own soul and the desperation with which my whole body aches for salvation.

A new home, close to family: Just when we felt like we’d never find something that was right for us, we found this house. It’s beautiful, spacious, in great condition, in the perfect location (near work, family, shopping, across the street from a park), and our landlord is great. He is very quick to take care of any issues we might have. I just feel very thankful for everything about our new home.

Family and friends who love us: We’ve always had them, no matter where we’ve lived. It’s so nice to be able to see some of them more often, and I feel extremely blessed to know that there are so many people who care so much about us and help us out when we need help (you all know who you are!)

My children: My babies continue to amaze me every day. They are beautiful to me, and they are my joys. They keep my heart light and full at the same time. I love ‘em so much I could squish ‘em!

Rick: I don’t tell him this often enough, but he’s an amazing, godly man. His heart is what made me fall in love with him, and he takes care of me like I’m a princess. I don’t deserve all the affection and love he pours out on me. He never leaves me wondering if he still cares about me or still thinks I’m beautiful after all these (okay, just over four) years of marriage. I couldn’t do any of this without him.

New furniture: Our new sectional is so great. I love it. I was a big whiner when we received one of the wrong pieces and had to take it back to get the right one. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I feel blessed to have such nice furniture to snuggle up with my family on or enjoy with company.

There’s more, but I think it might get boring if I list everything. Suffice it to say that I am very happy with this wonderful life that God has given to me, and I want to spend the Advent season giving to others so that they can also be blessed by our God in wonderful ways. And that’s the last thing on the list: I’m thankful that God has given us the means to share our blessings with others this year. I hope we can change lives and maybe even save some.

2. The election season will be over soon! This makes me happy. I’d really like to just know who our president will be (I already have a sneaking suspicion) and then move on with life, and I’m happy that this time is approaching quickly.

3. Taneisha will have her baby boy very soon! It makes me want to squeal with delight when I think of it. And the arrival of her little man will soon be followed by a new niece! These are indeed joyous times.

4. The chunk of hair that Kyrie cut is starting to grow and look more like bangs. I’m not a big fan of bangs, but they are better than a terribly short chunk that was quite obviously an accident.

5. The day that we move into our own house is approaching. We may not know the exact date, but we do know that every day brings us closer to it! (I feel like we’re waiting for a baby.)

6. It’s still legal to purchase and consume chocolate. I’m so thankful for this. I think I’ll have to take advantage of my freedom and maybe buy a candy bar.

There are a lot of things I will miss about Monroe, which may come as a surprise to some, but there were certainly attachments formed during our first four years of marriage living in Louisiana. I remember Isaiah and I driving the rental truck down, pulling into the driveway of the first house that Rick and I would live in, enjoying temperatures in the 70’s on New Year’s Day, having fun with friends, sighing contentedly at the deep blue sky streaked with pink clouds after a thunderstorm, and admiring the sunset over the peaceful bayou. I remember seeing the positive line on a pregnancy test with Kyrie, and again with Antonio, in the little bathroom of our house. I remember painting our dining room red because I need to live with color. I remember painting walls, sewing curtains, and hanging pictures to make our house a home. I gave birth to both of our babies in Louisiana. Antonio was born right in his sister’s room. There are so many special memories that we’ll carry with us. And I know I’ll never forget the challenges we faced as a new couple, and then a new family, living across the country from my family. It was good for me, and I’m thankful for the experience. I wouldn’t change it if I could.

Now that we are back in Spokane, I feel like everything is right. I feel joy when I just look into the starry night sky or smell the fresh, beautiful Northwest air. Every blade of grass that I see blowing in the wind seems familiar to me. I hear voices all around me in the buzzing of bees, songs of birds, and even the distant sounds of machinery or cars whizzing by that seem to be welcoming me home. It fills me with a joy and a feeling of belonging that I can’t fully describe.

(A sweet little baby girl named Yvette was also baptized.)

Gathered around the font:

Being anointed with oil:

His good-looking godparents:

And his adoring mama & papa:

We’ve had a ton of bills lately with the new table (we outgrew the old one), computer (it died), washer and dryer (they were dying together), computer, midwife, doula, tuition, and visits from family. God has provided a lot of money to meet those bills. I mean a lot. Close to $10,000 in the last three weeks. (I broke a Black Friday sales record and received my overload pay from teaching all in the last three weeks.) That almost covers everything (yeah, they add up). What would normally have been a stressful time has not been that bad.

I have a beautiful new son. The birth was incredible. It couldn’t have gone any more perfectly. The doula was incredible when it came to supporting Rachel. The whole time Rachel was in labor, I kept thanking God for her. The midwife was great too, but let the doula pretty much handle things.

My daughter continues to grow in her relationship to Christ. She amazes me sometimes.

I’m glad to be in a church where we can chant, receive communion every week, feel loved, and our children can commune. We’ve actually been able to develop a relationship with a fellow congregation member (though in its early stages, it’s nice to be able to connect to someone other than the pastor and his family). The lady is a bit older than us, but her youngest son is close to Kyrie’s age.

My class this semester will be taught by Reggie Kidd, and it’s on my favorite subject. How great is that? I’ve been able to finish most of the books (I saved the best ones for last, so woohoo).

I’ve had off of work for three straight days. I don’t think I’ve had more than one day in a row off since August (and even then I was usually working on my day off). It’s been a time of healing and rest (though I must say I am wiped out from all the work I am doing–but it’s different work, so in a big way, it’s restful).

We have family coming to visit. Forrest and Rebekah will be here in less than two weeks. The Enloe family also plans to come by. Mommy and daddy plan on coming in February. It will be so nice to have company again, and it’s nice to have a table that will fit everyone (tightly though!).

I love how all of our close friends’ families are growing. Exponential growth is nice when it involves friends.

We are planning to stay our entire summer in Spokane, if possible. Actually, it would be nice to just move up there, so maybe a job can fall in our laps (pretty please!).

It’s Advent. The long green season is fully over.

Oh, Lord remind us once again of your wonderful works. Hallelujah! Glory be to our great God.

He’s also been very easy-going about everything. I declined practically every routine labor intervention and infant procedure on my birth plan and he signed it willingly and cheerfully, adding, “This looks great.”

I may not be getting the homebirth that I dreamed of (I’m hoping I will for our third child, though), but at least I’ve got an OB who supports my birth philosophy and is willing to do what he can to make sure I have the closest thing to a homebirth in the hospital.

I really sometimes wonder if I would have ended up with a c-section if he had not been my doctor with Kyrie. He allowed me to push in the hospital for over 2 hours — and he knew that I’d pushed for 2 hours at home beforehand — but he never, ever even implied the possible need for a c-section. He made me believe I could do it when nurses had told me before I even went into labor that I wouldn’t be able to. (The day before I went into labor, a nurse told me I wouldn’t go into labor on my own, so I’d need to be induced, but I’d definitely end up with a c-section. And from the looks of it on the ultrasound, the baby’s head was huge.)

Coming from the crunchy state of Washington, I have a hard time with the medical mindset here. But it’s nice that even here, I can find an OB that I’m really quite happy with.

The mother of one of my classmates passed away suddenly on Monday. My classmate handled it with great faith. His father was diagnosed with terminal cancer on the last day of last term and was supposed to be in heavenly glory by this term, so this has been a bit backwards for the family. She had gone into the hospital on Wednesday and seemed fine on Thursday. She found out that a hole in her esophagus. This, in turn, caused acid to leak into her blood and poison it, causing her organs to shut down. She started taking a turn for the worse on Sunday while we were at the beach. By Monday, they were going to take her off the ventilator by evening, but she didn’t make it that long. It was shocking to me how quickly it all happened. I guess that with her husband dying of cancer, she probably didn’t feel the need to fight for her life. My classmate kept saying, “She always said she didn’t want to live without dad; now she doesn’t have to.”

Another classmate who had missed last semester (due to a viral heart attack) was back again this semester. He told the story of how, through misdiagnosis and wrong treatment, his blood was thinned to the point of leaking out of his stomach. He woke up in a puddle of blood (after having been changing bandages for several days). He thought he was going to die, so he prayed with his father, who is also a pastor (I believe). When he came back into the room five minutes later to take him to the hospital, there was a crusty scab that looked like it had been there for days. Incredible.

On Sunday I hit the beach after worship and stayed in the water a couple hours longer than everyone else. After the beach, I went to a worship service. Brian McLaren was the celebrant, and I had a good chat with him on the glories of teaching English (He was an English prof. Before going into the ministry and then public speaking). He reminded me once again why my background is oh so useful for what I hope to do in the future. Of all the well-known pastors and theologians I’ve met over the years, I have to say that McLaren is probably the most approachable. He’s had this “Hey, guys, what’s going on? Can I play?” smile on his face for the last three days.

Hmmm…I’m too distracted to blog anything else.

They still aren’t doing full waterbirth; however, the nurse who caught Kyrie (who is an awesome nurse married to the basketball coach at ULM) is going to practice at a new birth center with jetted jacuzzis (still over a year off, I think) near the hospital. After seeing the research that waterbirth is just as effective as epidural for pain relief (without all the adverse side effects and potential risks), the hospital has become a lot more midwife friendly. And, as her OB told the administration, water is a lot cheaper than epidurals!

This is kind of cool because we had heard our doctor was in trouble with the hospital because he worked with midwives. In the end, he influenced them to change their thinking.